I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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