you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
