OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
