you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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