what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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