toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
