I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize