I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
