I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
50% drunk capacity currently
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
