we're blogging at a bar
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
