I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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