Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He kissed a someone with a penis
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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