Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
