Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
