honey bunches of taint.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize