An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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