Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
