Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
