i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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