It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
