I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
