I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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