So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
