i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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