Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will be naked everywhere
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize