How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
