WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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