Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
