the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize