new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
