I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
