If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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