I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
