she was so not down for the gang bang
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
