so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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