either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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