I am puke
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize