We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
