I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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