just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
