I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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