is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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