so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
