How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it's like iHOP with fire
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
