Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
no, he came in my armpit
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Randomize
