she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
