Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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