we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Duck Duck Cougar?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
