it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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