living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
