so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Life is so much better after having sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
