My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
