My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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