yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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