i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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