I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
