I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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