why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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