you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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