he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
