You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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