OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
