never play flip cup with pint glasses
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
