just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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