An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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