I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize