im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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