I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have tasted many bathrooms
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
