...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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