i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
