i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
