Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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