A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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