Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
