The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
