I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize